More Efficient than Essays

Barbecue Sauce
That obnoxious loudmouth without whom the party is not a party.

Coffee
The giddiness of infatuation, the sickness of rejection.

Bacon
Thermonuclear war.

Chocolate
Monks pretend not to sneer at those who indulge, who just can't handle 100%.

Alcohol
And we look down on glue-sniffing.

Butter
What was enough yesterday is stingy today.

Salt
Piety, ignorance, and health are no excuses for bad taste.

Sugar
Some think pleasure will land them in hell, and some think they can feel hell burning up into them, into their teeth--what flattery is that.

Sunscreen
I knew a man who grew obesce from eating spoons and spoons of canned frosting.

Wheat
We all need someone to hallow and to rage against.

Rose Water
What about the taste of smell?

Swiss Cheese
You might not want to shake hands with me because I pick the stuff between my toes.

Turnip
You know those grimacing people to whom others only speak out of a sense of duty, guilt, or pity?

Canned Bread
When I asked him if we as a country would ever get over the second world war, he said "I hope not!"

Cucumber
No outward signs of bitterness; you have to slice it and taste.